By Kathy Banaszak
E-mail: kathybanaszak@wi.rr.com
http://www.kathybanaszak.blogspot.com/
Today is the big day! She turns 26.
I can hardly fathom that so much time has passed since that day we first met face to face in the birthing room of Bethesda Hospital in Cincinnati. She has grown up into this beautiful, radiant, engaging young woman in what literally seems like the twinkling of an eye.
I still vividly recall the minutes and hours that preceded her arrival. Not surprisingly, she was tardy right from the start (a whole week late!) It was the first really hot day of 1982, and I had just returned from a late afternoon visit to my doctor's office where the midwife checked things out. Within an hour of returning home, I was out the door again. Rog arrived home just in time for the drive to the hospital. It was a gorgeous, sunny Spring evening when we left for the hospital that April 15th, and still officially "Tax Day".
Older brother Nicholas would wait at home with his aunt and little cousin. Nicholas had already completed the sibling birth classes taught by the midwife, and had thoroughly enjoyed the camaraderie of his little peers. He was starting to really get that we would be bringing a "real" live new baby back home any day now, and was totally psyched to become a "Big Brother". (If you were to ask those in the know, they'd tell you that Nick has indeed been a terrific big brother, give or take a few skirmishes along the way.)
As midnight approached, Rog and I had already been in the hospital's Birthing Room for several hours. The labor had gone smoothly (as far as labors go!) Rog was getting quite proficient at coaching me through the increasingly stronger contractions and was already in scrubs when Dr. Brunsman arrived in the middle of a late night TV rerun of "McMillan and Wife". After a quick check, it was time for the final push (literally!)
It only took a few strong, healthy pushes and she was here.
The image of her tiny newborn face remains indelibly imprinted in my mind's eye: the thick shock of wavy, almost black hair, that bronzed complexion with those dark newborn eyes. At first blush, her very Latin look caught us totally off guard. (How could two blonde blue-eyed parents produce such an exotic look?) Her piercing eyes - "smiling eyes" right from the start - took our breath away. She captured my heart that very first minute.
We immediately bequeathed her name upon her: "Rebecca". It means "captivating". The name fit like a glove.
As newborns go, Baby Rebecca was exceptionally alert: no closed, squinty eyes, no slumbering off just now for this little girl. Rather, she locked her eyes onto my own like a magnet for those first several minutes of life, and would not look away. She made quiet little baby noises while she continued to gaze intently at my face. She seemed to be matching the now familiar voice to the face right in front of her. Rog took a Polaroid at one minute old that would document it all for posterity's sake. Not only is this the first picture in Becky's baby book, but also a prophetic snapshot of "who she be" (as her Uncle Mike likes to put it.)
My doctor attributed Rebecca's remarkable alertness to the unmedicated natural childbirth. For me, however, it was as if this tiny little gal was letting us know right out of the gate she would not be missing anything, this girl!
The small framed print that sits prominently on our now grownup girl's desk says it all: "I CAME TO LIVE OUT LOUD!"
Obviously, it's not about being loud and dramatic (though Bec will be the first to admit she is definitely capable of both!) Rather, Becky has come to understand something that so many people never "get", even after a lifetime on this planet: that she is here right now on purpose and for a purpose, and that this is not all about her, even (and especially) when she can't possibly figure it out. She understands this truth more deeply with each passing birthday.
In recent years, Becky has encountered how truly messy life can get. She sees that good people, totally committed to walking with God will still suffer, often be misunderstood, and will become not only discouraged and confused, but even despondent at times. She has also experienced how truly fragile life really is. She also understands that her life is really and truly not her own; that she was bought at a price. And so with each passing year, she has grown into more and more a "risk-taker, hope-peddler, seed-thrower and grace-giver". After all, it's "who she be".
After Becky returned from Costa Rica over two years ago, she was back in Cincinnati for two months before returning to Costa Rica and then later to Wisconsin. While still in Cincinnati, Becky spent time with her lifelong friend Sarah and her family. They all spent an evening together praying about God's purposes and plans for Becky's life. Sarah's Dad finally shared the strong impressions he received during that prayer time; Bill kept seeing a really big key. He then pointed to Becky's key ring, to the huge skeleton key already on her key ring. "Just like that one". Bill shared how that key represented the special gift God had given Becky: the key to help unlock people's hearts.
Becky has only recently begun to discern how God might help her to unlock people's hearts. She sees now that they are all around her; hurting people devastated by life, with broken and barricaded hearts. They're in Cincinnati, Wisconsin, Huntsville, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Darfur and all around the world.
Becky has been granted "eyes to see". That is, to see the things that most of us do not really want to see, things we avoid dwelling on: the havoc and destruction of unrestrained evil, the shattered innocence and mangled hearts - hearts that God wants to touch and redeem.
Becky is only starting to recognize the "talents" that God Himself has deposited in her spirit. She also now sees that these were never bestowed in order to bring glory to herself. Rather, they are given by the God of the Universe as part of His much larger redemptive love story.
In my Bible, I have a prayer written many years ago (I no longer recall who even said it): "May my heart be broken by those things that break the heart of God." On her 26th birthday, that is my prayer for Becky; that she remain faithful in helping unlock people's hearts for the love of Jesus, one heart at a time.
As for me, I am profoundly grateful and deeply blessed to have Becky as our daughter. She is truly a jewel! She's been such a precious sister to both Nick and Dan. I pray that she will walk closely with Jesus all the days of her life and cling tightly to Him no matter where His paths might take her; that her heart would be "sold out" and that she will live out God's own sacrificial love to the people He puts in her path. I pray too that her joy will run deep, rooted in truth: "The joy of the Lord is your strength." (Nehemiah 8:10)
I pray also today for a godly husband for our sweet Bec; for a true friend and life partner - a man of God's own choosing who will pursue her and romance her with "grand gestures", who will love her sacrificially and whose own heart will be one of radical love for the people Jesus died for.
God has already answered so many of my prayers for Becky's life. I am gratified to know that she is living a life of passion and purpose in the midst of life's responsibilities and challenges. The words of Irenaus come to mind: "The glory of God is a man (or woman) fully alive, and the life of man consists in beholding God."
So on the occasion of her 26th Birthday, I officially salute the "Birthday Queen"! And I commend and exhort her to continue to LIVE YOUR LIFE OUT LOUD!
And lest you forget: "I love you forever, I like you for always, As long as you're living, my girl you'll be!"
You Go Girl!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
ELLIOT SPITZER: THE FURY AND FRENZY OF A FALL
By Kathy Banaszak
kathybanaszak@wi.rr.com
www.kathybanaszak.blogspot.com
(This article was originally posted 3/10/08 and has been edited for corrections)
For about the fiftieth time in the last ninety minutes, the same news clip parades across every single cable news network. With few exceptions, reporters and anchors express collective shock and outrage, while still others labor to mute their obvious glee. This is the red meat they live for.
No doubt about it, this is a big news day. New York Governor Elliott Spitzer caught on a wiretap in the thick of a high-stakes prostitution ring with ties to organized crime. As far as newsrooms go, it doesn't get much better than this."There is a place in hell reserved for these sorts of hyprocrites; hypocrite with a capital H", pontificates one pundit. "Wall Street is breaking out the champagne right now" smirks another.
The feeding frenzy has just begun folks.
The pictures tell the story better than all the talking heads: the mortified wife with grief-stricken eyes standing by her husband's side, numbed by the crushing brunt of raw pain. The culprit himself wears that strange grimace of someone caught with his pants down (literally in this case). Not exactly the look of a genuinely repentant man I think to myself. Remorse for sure, (he got nailed after all, who wouldn't be). But repentance? Not yet. Later one hopes. For now, he's still looking for that "Stay Out of Jail" card.
Amid expressions of moral outrage, I am reminded yet again that "there is nothing new under the sun." Solomon (no innocent himself) got this right. No matter how sophisticated, how intelligent, well-educated, cultured or evolved we see ourselves in the dawn of this 21st century, there is no escaping the obvious truth. We are trapped by the same moral dilemmas and wallow in the same cesspools that have plagued mankind since the beginning of recorded time. It's not just "the times in which we live" as one anchor suggested.
What's crystal clear is that the nature of man has not changed at all in the three thousand years since Solomon penned Ecclesiastes. Solomon embraced a spiritual truth rejected by many still today: We are the problem. What we need today (and have always needed) remains the same. We need an "inside job" - all of us - me, you, Elliott Spitzer, everybody.
Solomon offers a word of wisdom for Elliott Spitzer: "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Pride tops the list as the "chief of sins" and for good reason; there is nothing so sneaky, so dangerous, so completely hideous and so utterly blinding. In the days to come, I hope that Governor Spitzer will genuinely reflect on this unheeded wisdom.
But be wary all you outraged commentators. Take heed all you gleeful gloating cable news voyeurs. Listen up all you church-going folk. The apostle Paul has a word for you (and me) too: "Let him who thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall." (1 Cor. 10:12) Gotcha!
I'll be honest. It feels good (at first), so "natural" to let myself simply wallow in today's community gloat over Elliott Spitzer's stunning fall from grace. (There's that darned "nature" thing again!) How desperately I need the finger of God to prick my heart yet again to remind me of what I am supposed to already know: "Love does not rejoice in evil (or injustice, take your pick of translations), but rejoices in the truth." (1 Cor. 13)
No gloating folks.
I love how C. S. Lewis (Mere Christianity) puts it all in perspective: "All the worst pleasures are purely spiritual: the pleasure of putting other people in the wrong, of bossing and patronizing, and spoiling sport and back-biting, the pleasure of power, of hatred...That is why a cold self-righteous prig who goes regularly to church may be far nearer to hell than the prostitute."
Whew!
Listen closely to the words of another notable sinner, King David, no less. Caught in a similar trap of his own making, he went to even greater lengths (murder!) to hide his own moral transgression. Yet who can read Psalm 51 and not be moved by the God who specializes in "inside jobs":
"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love, according to your great compassion, blot out my transgressions, wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin...Surely you desire truth in the innermost being, you teach me wisdom in the inmost place...Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me...The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."
So on this very hellish day, I pray for Governor Spitzer. I pray for truth in his innermost being, for a broken and contrite heart, a clean heart, a new and steadfast spirit. I especially pray for shelter and comfort for his wife and children in the midst of such shattered trust and public humiliation.
I pray that Governor Spitzer might genuinely seek the gift of repentance. It is the "gift of tears" for those who deserve none.
kathybanaszak@wi.rr.com
www.kathybanaszak.blogspot.com
(This article was originally posted 3/10/08 and has been edited for corrections)
For about the fiftieth time in the last ninety minutes, the same news clip parades across every single cable news network. With few exceptions, reporters and anchors express collective shock and outrage, while still others labor to mute their obvious glee. This is the red meat they live for.
No doubt about it, this is a big news day. New York Governor Elliott Spitzer caught on a wiretap in the thick of a high-stakes prostitution ring with ties to organized crime. As far as newsrooms go, it doesn't get much better than this."There is a place in hell reserved for these sorts of hyprocrites; hypocrite with a capital H", pontificates one pundit. "Wall Street is breaking out the champagne right now" smirks another.
The feeding frenzy has just begun folks.
The pictures tell the story better than all the talking heads: the mortified wife with grief-stricken eyes standing by her husband's side, numbed by the crushing brunt of raw pain. The culprit himself wears that strange grimace of someone caught with his pants down (literally in this case). Not exactly the look of a genuinely repentant man I think to myself. Remorse for sure, (he got nailed after all, who wouldn't be). But repentance? Not yet. Later one hopes. For now, he's still looking for that "Stay Out of Jail" card.
Amid expressions of moral outrage, I am reminded yet again that "there is nothing new under the sun." Solomon (no innocent himself) got this right. No matter how sophisticated, how intelligent, well-educated, cultured or evolved we see ourselves in the dawn of this 21st century, there is no escaping the obvious truth. We are trapped by the same moral dilemmas and wallow in the same cesspools that have plagued mankind since the beginning of recorded time. It's not just "the times in which we live" as one anchor suggested.
What's crystal clear is that the nature of man has not changed at all in the three thousand years since Solomon penned Ecclesiastes. Solomon embraced a spiritual truth rejected by many still today: We are the problem. What we need today (and have always needed) remains the same. We need an "inside job" - all of us - me, you, Elliott Spitzer, everybody.
Solomon offers a word of wisdom for Elliott Spitzer: "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Pride tops the list as the "chief of sins" and for good reason; there is nothing so sneaky, so dangerous, so completely hideous and so utterly blinding. In the days to come, I hope that Governor Spitzer will genuinely reflect on this unheeded wisdom.
But be wary all you outraged commentators. Take heed all you gleeful gloating cable news voyeurs. Listen up all you church-going folk. The apostle Paul has a word for you (and me) too: "Let him who thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall." (1 Cor. 10:12) Gotcha!
I'll be honest. It feels good (at first), so "natural" to let myself simply wallow in today's community gloat over Elliott Spitzer's stunning fall from grace. (There's that darned "nature" thing again!) How desperately I need the finger of God to prick my heart yet again to remind me of what I am supposed to already know: "Love does not rejoice in evil (or injustice, take your pick of translations), but rejoices in the truth." (1 Cor. 13)
No gloating folks.
I love how C. S. Lewis (Mere Christianity) puts it all in perspective: "All the worst pleasures are purely spiritual: the pleasure of putting other people in the wrong, of bossing and patronizing, and spoiling sport and back-biting, the pleasure of power, of hatred...That is why a cold self-righteous prig who goes regularly to church may be far nearer to hell than the prostitute."
Whew!
Listen closely to the words of another notable sinner, King David, no less. Caught in a similar trap of his own making, he went to even greater lengths (murder!) to hide his own moral transgression. Yet who can read Psalm 51 and not be moved by the God who specializes in "inside jobs":
"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love, according to your great compassion, blot out my transgressions, wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin...Surely you desire truth in the innermost being, you teach me wisdom in the inmost place...Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me...The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."
So on this very hellish day, I pray for Governor Spitzer. I pray for truth in his innermost being, for a broken and contrite heart, a clean heart, a new and steadfast spirit. I especially pray for shelter and comfort for his wife and children in the midst of such shattered trust and public humiliation.
I pray that Governor Spitzer might genuinely seek the gift of repentance. It is the "gift of tears" for those who deserve none.
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